Alone , not lonely

I'm alone. I swear, right now there isn't anyone home. No one to ask me a question, no one to complain, no one fighting, no one crying, no one needing me...and I am loving it. Don't get me wrong. Parenting has been a wonderful adventure. But I would be lying if I said I didn't miss my "old life". I miss waking up alone, going to bed alone. I miss preparing dinner for just myself, and sometimes not eating. I miss going for walks, reading, thinking. I can't be the only mom out there that feels this way. I can't be the only mom that REALLY enjoyed living alone, being single. Am I? I would not change anything. Really. But I would have mentally prepared myself, if that is at all possible. Which, of course, it is not. Isn't that the adventure of parenthood? Jumping in with both feet? Into the deepest part of the lake? On the coldest day of the year? My big girls always accuse me of loving my little one more. And in a way, I guess I do. Not more, but differently. She is five, sweet, funny, silly, ridiculous, lovable, simple. I need that right now. The complicated life of preteen twins is exhausting, confusing, frustrating, and wonderful. I see myself in them. I remember those times. I don't envy them. I think I need to take a new perspective on this parenting of preteens thing. Perhaps a trip to the library is in order. Maybe a literary /parenting expert could share some tips on how to survive this time. But, for now,I'm going to sit here with my iPad and blog.....alone.